Dating too fast after divorce

Nowhere are hateful, stupid, cheating mates in general demand.

So there has to be substance to back up your style.

And men regularly fall for mere mortals they’ve gotten to know in social organizations. Pick some testosterone-laden places you’d like to go; go often (without a posse); and use the science-proven most successful female pick-up strategy: Smile an eye-crinkling smile while making eye contact.

Also, weight plumps the face, making you look younger.

Research on identical twins shows that the heavier twin is usually judged as considerably younger – 7 years, in some cases – once middle age is reached (before midlife, the reverse is true).

One element of that style should be sexual restraint until a real emotional attachment has formed on his side—unless all you’re seeking is a fling.

Waiting to have sex activates the she’s-high-status/not-a-cheater male mating psych, and gets his dopamine rising, helping him fall in love with you if he’s so inclined; men can’t fall in love without dopamine, so making him wait is a very good thing.

But having sex too soon has many men repeating Groucho Marx’s line: “I wouldn’t join any club that would have someone like me for a member.” Therefore, be your (best) self, with appropriate boundaries—and proceed confidently to step two.

Which means the most direct route to securing the approach is – of course – to continue looking attractive, to the most reasonable extent you can. Most American men prefer an average-weight woman, not a human stick insect, as women incorrectly conclude.

Without exception, every woman I know who married at or after mid-life implemented some version of this plan. is the author of Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do.

Yes, dating is a slightly different ball game than it was in your 30s.

I could tell you they don’t, but I’d be lying, undercutting my own credibility, and going against data collected all over the world.

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