Just dating vs relationship
"If there weren't any feelings, it would be merely a hookup.""It is a hella annoying whisper of a step below official boyfriend/girlfriend thing," Chelsea*, 22, explained.
"There's an emotional bond and fulfillment that mimics monogamous relationships."But situationships, while often seen as an inevitable stepping stone into real relationships, are problematic by nature. The emotional aspect (however slight) differentiates it from a no-strings-attached hookup.
If they ask if she's happy with things as is without labels, she rolls with it, because she doesn't want to find somebody else. Given the emotions involved, it's really only a matter of time before the party that wants to progress things either initiates The Talk, or decides to move on.
Merely maintaining equilibrium doesn't magically evolve your tacit relationship into a real one.
For all the ink that's been spilled about how toxic casual hookup culture is, situationships are a lot more destructive. You can't be angry or sad, or even comfortably summarize to your friends that you got dumped, because you weren't really dating in the first place.
So save yourself from the fallout and set boundaries early on.
The boundaries for situationships are drawn from things unsaid.
I remembered all the hours I wasted mentally running through postcoital TEDTalks on "What Are We and Why You Should Date Me" lying awake next to my much-more-than-a-crush.
Kaitlyn*, 22, says she falls into them easily because she gets attached to people easily.
"Once that happens, I don't really want to find someone else," she explains.
If you’ve been seeing someone for a while it can be tough to go from casual dating into a fully-fledged relationship.
But don’t worry; dating coach Michael Valmont’s top tips will help you tackle the transition with ease First and foremost, during the initial stages of dating you both need to be moving in the same direction.
A situationship, he explained, was the catch-all term for those relationships sitting at the intersection of “hooking up” and “in a relationship.” It’s a scary precipice, teeter-tottering between “more than hooking up” and “very much dating,” where a simple “what are we” can throw the entire system out of balance. For all the boyfriends that were never really my boyfriend, past hookups and their mealy scars of things left unsaid, there was now a clever umbrella term: situationships.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating