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A lot of men say they want that in a woman, but that has certainly not been my experience!

)My relationships with gay women, on the other hand, have felt much more egalitarian to me.

Consider that I was not socialized as a woman from birth; I never learned to expect the heteronormative tropes of romance and showing attraction.

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In this situation, if I approach romance even slightly more passively, or deviate from heteronormative standard practice in any way, the momentum between us fizzles out in a hurry.

Now no one is driving the process forward; no one sets up the next date, leans in for a kiss, or “buys the flowers,” so to speak.

Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately.

But I believe that it’s time to examine the pervasive, inner workings of heterosexual conditioning that, whether any of us in the bisexual community want to admit or not, have doomed so many bisexual/lesbian pairings to failure.

Both parties then go their separate ways, bemoaning what seems like a lost cause.“There are more straight men out there then gay women; simple math tells us that a bisexual woman is more likely to end up with a man than another woman.”The above point is frequently cited in an attempt to explain why so few bi and lesbian pairs exist.

And while the sheer number of available partners may explain some aspect of why bi women partner more frequently with men, the heteronormative socialization described above is almost certainly as responsible, if not more so, for this phenomenon.

Any digression from the beaten path of straight romance leaves other bi women feeling as though I’m not interested, even if I am interested but showing it in a different manner than she’s used to.

(Conversely, my relationships with straight men go haywire the moment I try to take a more active role in romance or courting.

Conversely, many of my lesbian friends have complained of bi women disappearing after a few dates, or “ghosting”, as it’s called these days.

I can’t help but wonder how many bisexual women do this simply because they don’t believe — or haven’t even noticed that — the other woman is actually interested.

Understanding Your Partner Solidifying the Relationship Community Q&A Dating a bisexual can be a really intimidating thing. Will they eventually leave you when the realize what they actually want? Dating a bisexual can be just like dating a Catholic, a race car driver, or a brunette. Read on to put your concerns away and relax in your relationship.

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