Relationship books dating couples
"That doesn't make the sex any less special." This is something Sussman said she sees "plenty of" in her practice.While the discovery of an affair can potentially destroy a relationship, it doesn't have to."And if you can't communicate well, it makes it so much worse and can actually tear you apart." When I asked Rachel Sussman, a a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, about the most common fights couples have, she started mentioning things like chores and social media. These issues seemed relatively trivial, especially compared to infidelity or a clash in parenting styles.
When I asked Rachel Sussman, a a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, about the most common fights couples have, she started mentioning things like chores and social media. These issues seemed relatively trivial, especially compared to infidelity or a clash in parenting styles.
But Sussman explained that the fight isn't so much about the issue itself as it is about a lack of communication.
If they're hesitant, "might this show that there's a lack of trust?
" Or, fights about money might come up later in a relationship.
One person might complain, for example, "that their life is plastered all over social media or they think their partner is addicted to their phone." Sussman's also heard from people who are worried that their partner is following a ton of models on Instagram. The problem is "you think you're justified and the other person is at fault." The saver might accuse the spender of being fiscally irresponsible; the spender might accuse the saver of being cheap.
Don Cloud, president and founder of Cloud Financial Inc., previously told Business Insider that he frequently works with spender/saver couples.Maybe both partners worked when they started dating, but once they had kids, one partner stayed home.The partner who works might be "holding that over [the other partner's] head," or even engage in financial blackmail, Sussman said."Someone might be a workaholic," Sussman said, "or someone might be prioritizing work over relationships." As Michael Mc Nulty, a master trainer from The Gottman Institute and founder of the Chicago Relationship Center, told Business Insider's Rachel Gillett, "Having a spouse addicted to work can feel like as much of a betrayal as extramarital affair to the other spouse." Sometimes people bring their partner to see Sussman because the partner has an alcohol problem — or at least the person perceives it that way.As it turns out, one small study, published 2013 in the journal Couple and Family Psychology, found that substance abuse was a common "final straw" in the decision to get divorced.Or, a couple tells her they're "feeling that their sex life has died." Bat Sheva Marcus, the sexual dysfunction specialist and clinical director of The Medical Center For Female Sexuality, previously told Business Insider about the usefulness of a "sex schedule," which is exactly what it sounds like.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating